One Step

What steps do you take when you can’t walk? My family struggled with how to help me meet my needs. My physical needs obviously came first.
                              Keep the path clear from the bed to the potty palace.
                              Make sure there’s something to drink within reach.
                              Always have a phone nearby.

The basics.

We struggled for a bit with all of those things. Sure, I had crutches. I had a mini-fridge in my room. I had a cell phone/charger. I had a laptop. What I didn't have was the ability to advocate for me. That is where my journey truly begins.

My youngest daughter was/is my biggest assist. I fondly referred to her as ‘my legs’. She would ensure I had drinks next to me before she left for school in the morning. She carried my debit card so she could stop at the store if I needed something. She texted me from school to make sure I was okay. She was my legs when I needed anything. There was some disagreement regarding meals though. (Remember, I have a self-advocate problem)

When my daughter would get home from school, she would come and check on me. She would get new sodas. She would empty garbage, bring me the mail and help me to the bathroom. She would ask if I wanted anything. I didn't. Not because I really didn't but because she already did so much for me. I couldn't ask her for anything even when she asked if I needed anything. Food? If she or my son was making something, I would say I wanted some. If they were picking something up, I would ‘place my order’. If I was hungry without either of those scenarios, I stayed hungry. I could be no more of a burden than I already was.

My path needed to change. I needed to alter my path. Changing the path started with re-arranging my room. We put the mini-fridge on the side of the bed I now was forced to use because I was unable to get into bed on ‘my’ side. My daughter no longer needed to come in to my room before she left for school. This was good. This was progress on a different path.

I decided I would take this forced time off of work to finish the RN I started in 1991 and had to withdraw from in 1993. Only 20 years in the making. I love life’s little curves. In doing this, I needed to find a way to read and take notes. My kids had purchased an amazing little overbed table when I had my hysterectomy in 2000 but I gave it up when we moved from IL to TN. Damn. We tried to fashion one out of a shoe shelf. Close. It would work. Sort of.

That solved, I needed to address the food issue. Because I was dealing with pain, immobility and no pain medication, I turned to comfort foods. You know the ones…candy, doughnuts, anything with some sweet. I had begun to gain a few pounds…eww. So, some fruits & veggies for my fridge. I could munch and mind my intake. Perfect.

Now to address the medical path. I was new to this side of the chart. This was a road I was unfamiliar with. Sharp turns ahead.

It all starts with one step.