One Step

What steps do you take when you can’t walk? My family struggled with how to help me meet my needs. My physical needs obviously came first.
                              Keep the path clear from the bed to the potty palace.
                              Make sure there’s something to drink within reach.
                              Always have a phone nearby.

The basics.

We struggled for a bit with all of those things. Sure, I had crutches. I had a mini-fridge in my room. I had a cell phone/charger. I had a laptop. What I didn't have was the ability to advocate for me. That is where my journey truly begins.

My youngest daughter was/is my biggest assist. I fondly referred to her as ‘my legs’. She would ensure I had drinks next to me before she left for school in the morning. She carried my debit card so she could stop at the store if I needed something. She texted me from school to make sure I was okay. She was my legs when I needed anything. There was some disagreement regarding meals though. (Remember, I have a self-advocate problem)

When my daughter would get home from school, she would come and check on me. She would get new sodas. She would empty garbage, bring me the mail and help me to the bathroom. She would ask if I wanted anything. I didn't. Not because I really didn't but because she already did so much for me. I couldn't ask her for anything even when she asked if I needed anything. Food? If she or my son was making something, I would say I wanted some. If they were picking something up, I would ‘place my order’. If I was hungry without either of those scenarios, I stayed hungry. I could be no more of a burden than I already was.

My path needed to change. I needed to alter my path. Changing the path started with re-arranging my room. We put the mini-fridge on the side of the bed I now was forced to use because I was unable to get into bed on ‘my’ side. My daughter no longer needed to come in to my room before she left for school. This was good. This was progress on a different path.

I decided I would take this forced time off of work to finish the RN I started in 1991 and had to withdraw from in 1993. Only 20 years in the making. I love life’s little curves. In doing this, I needed to find a way to read and take notes. My kids had purchased an amazing little overbed table when I had my hysterectomy in 2000 but I gave it up when we moved from IL to TN. Damn. We tried to fashion one out of a shoe shelf. Close. It would work. Sort of.

That solved, I needed to address the food issue. Because I was dealing with pain, immobility and no pain medication, I turned to comfort foods. You know the ones…candy, doughnuts, anything with some sweet. I had begun to gain a few pounds…eww. So, some fruits & veggies for my fridge. I could munch and mind my intake. Perfect.

Now to address the medical path. I was new to this side of the chart. This was a road I was unfamiliar with. Sharp turns ahead.

It all starts with one step.

Step One

It started as a simple sociology experiment for my high school senior. We discussed several options and decided on "behavior inappropriate for a 17 year old". At a grocery store. She, her sister and I were the only ones aware of the experiment details.

Once in the store, my 17 year old climbed into the back of the grocery cart. Of course, we made her strong older brother push her. As soon as we started "shopping", she started bouncing around in the cart. Then the "I want that!" started. Her poor brother was left helpless as her sister and I had to walk away stifling the giggles.

We turned into the freezer aisle when that one step happened. My 17 year old said "Go faster!!", so my son gave the cart a little push and let go. Since she was facing the front of the cart, she had no idea she was being pushed into a pole! At that moment, her sister and I busted up laughing as we walked away! I turned over my shoulder to catch the look on her face, turned back around and BAM! I was suddenly in terrible pain lying face down on the floor. I suppose it didn't help that it was a concrete floor. My oldest daughter was against the coolers and there was water on the floor. Did I slip? Did I trip? Did I break anything?

The store staff was very helpful collecting an ice pack, bottle of water, ibuprofen and a wheelchair. My oldest filled out an incident report while my son took me to the car and my 17 year old finished the quick list.

Off we went to the emergency room a few blocks away. X-rays and some pain medication later, I went home with a 'sprain' and instructions to follow up with an orthopedic specialist.

Ortho wanted an MRI. It took about a month to get scheduled. In that time period, I worked approximately 250 hours...most of which spent walking &/or on my feet.

What 12+ hours looked like

Once the MRI was done, the results were in - non-displaced patella fracture. Great. I was walking around on a broken kneecap for a month. Walking a LOT. To be fair, I did use crutches frequently to go between the 2nd floor on the AL side to the ground floor REM side of the building. (Picture a building in a sideways 'H'...AL located at one end of the '-', REM on the other). I was told to get off my leg ASAP and a follow up with the ortho for brace fitting.

It all starts with one step.